Everyone loves to give advice.

A new parent is showered with advice from every angle. Well meaning friends, colleagues, family, and complete strangers love to impart their knowledge. You just ask your hairdresser, the butcher, the person who sits next to you in the bus and see how keen they are to share their vast experience with you.

Moms & mom-in-laws are valuable support sources, and they are most helpful, but remember it’s been a long, long time since they practised handling an infant & memories are clouded.

In my practice I wooed the grandparents of the infant first, knowing that if I got them on my side my job would be so much simpler. These good people have a great deal of influence on new parents.

A first time parent is often completely overwhelmed by the advice, which is often contradicting and strange. The uncertainty of the new parent make him/her vulnerable & an easy target for all the well meaning advisors who continue to shower them with solicited & unsolicited knowledge.

A new parent wants to succeed. A new parent wants to be ‘seen’ to be coping.New parents have to prove to the world, but especially to themselves that they are worthy parents of this little stranger.

REMEMBER YOU ARE THE PARENT and the ultimate responsibility is yours. Those well meaning advisors will not be there 24/7 when you try out their advice. Pick someone you trust and discuss you problems and the advice you have been given. Listen to the pros and cons of the advice and then make your own decision.  Choose the advice with which you feel most comfortable and which suits your life-style. Don’t ever feel obliged to follow advice which make you feel uncomfortable.

None of us are perfect.  Our parenting is often done through trail & error and much experimentation. Children are tough and, in spite of our imperfections, are usually none the worse for wear and survive their parents quite well.


Teresa Denton ©

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